I think things are changing. I mean with what I thought my future held, is changing. I was so ready to sign up for full time missions to Honduras. I had contacted a couple org's and was starting to plan. But I also had this feeling, like a sinking feeling. Like this was not right. But that is what I thought was right, what people expected of me. I think so much of what other people think of me and what I should be doing. (I really need to stop that!) Well, I went to Honduras to Copan in June, and to tell the truth, that was the worst trip emotionally and spiritually for me. I have no idea what all was going on and still not sure what all happened and still happening, but I hope I dont have another trip like that. I mean the people were great! It was me.... I do not have that strong desire to go to Honduras. It's really sad but I think that is for the best for right now. At least for me emotionally and spiritually. I think I was starting to focus on things other than doing what God wanted. After I got back from Honduras. Was not sure what to think. Seriously. I have not been in a good spritual relationship for a long time. I think even before college. And I still remember a very good friends dad telling me to find a good church, not to just stay with a "family church." I am still in this process. I have been going to a church near by and went to a class for the first time this past Sunday. But okay back to the topic. I got an email about Africa. But there are 2 trips. I travel with Trish. And I depend on her alot I realized. But then again. She is a great friend and can't imagine going to Africa without her. But the trip I really felt lead to go on, she does not. Before we talked about this. I had a "feeling" that I was not supposed to go with her. And then I had a friend text me at 3 in the morning a couple weeks ago. Said he was praying for me and God told him to tell me that He loves me and is with me. And later on when I was talking with the friend. He told me that I will not be stuck in the USA much longer that I will be preaching all over the world. (Just to let you know he knew nothing of what I have said in this blog.) I still have no idea what I will end up doing in my life, but I am willing to do anything and go anywhere that God wants me to. That has never changed and will never. So in a sort a waiting game?? Or figuring out what I am supposed to do and go. Not satisfied with work so that will definetly not be an issue.